* The small print

Upgrades are subject to an additional Shaft Charge and are negotiated case by case - failure to haggle with the upgrade keeper results in accounts being labelled Sucker. If you have a sucker account, UberWare will from time to time add inexplicable items to your bill and blame you for their inclusion. All Sucker accounts pay premium rates to contact customer support teams. If you don't like the Shaft Deal, you will have to register a new account and your existing number will be recycled. Recycled accounts are double fun for the person who gets your old number, as they receive calls from all mates who don't bother to delete ex-number from phones. UberWare is not responsible for any nuisance calls, so just go to the police if you're that worried about it... as if!

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